Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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