I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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