what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
