Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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