did you get engaged???
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
