what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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