all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize