I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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