4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
