oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
