Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She even gives head with a lisp.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
