I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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