dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We had sex on a dog bed..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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