see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
