I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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