I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
