Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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