I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
