My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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