But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
