i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
