i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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