I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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