I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
