Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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