y did u give ur computer a hand job?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
