i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Congratulations! We have a period
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize