Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
