just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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