I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
