I'm eating all of the evidence.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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