Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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