I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
