Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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