Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
this boner is exhausting
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
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I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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