Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Randomize
