Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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