I wish life had little blips of pornography
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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