How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
