no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
