its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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