He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
