These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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