YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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