apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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