Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
