"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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