the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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