Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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