Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
