I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
