Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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