She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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