You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
