Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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