apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
