I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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