she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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