I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
